I always say I am going to start these in like October, but it never works that way. It usually happens the first or second week of December, so I am actually ahead this year. Of course I still need about 75 more, but at least I have started! Lael also wanted to help, so I gave her some supplies and she went to town creating her own masterpieces. See if you can decide which cards are hers!
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask me a question.Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously, not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going; she’s going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, I brought you this. It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription:’To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’
In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, afterwhich I could pattern my work. No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.’
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, ‘you’re gonna love it there.’
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
ETA: I did not write this, I don’t want to take credit for someone’s work. I received this in an email, and it spoke to me, straight to the heart, so I added it to my blog. From now on, I will note in any entry if I copied/pasted from an email.
After visiting different churches in Madison we finally decided to make it official – we joined Asbury Sunday. We had been talking about it for a while – it just seems to be the best fit for us. They have so much to offer especially for children and youth. The twins both know kids who go there, and Chace does too. I think that makes a huge difference to start with. We are going to have to leave earlier than usual now though because we can no longer park in Visitor Parking :roll After we got home we were looking through the paperwork they gave us about all the different Sunday school classes. I was trying to figure out which one would be best for Todd and me to go to. Caeden climbed up in my lap and started looking at the pamphlet. He read one of the class descriptions that said that it was for middle aged adults, the name of the class was Open Door. He asked if it was for old people who couldn’t reach the door knob. I just cracked up – gotta love that kid!
Apparently, according to Todd I’ve been snoring much more recently. He’s always said I snore, but for some reason now it bothers him. I don’t know if it louder, he is just sleeping lighter or what. Anyway, there were some freebie Snore Relief Throat Strips in the package of Breathe Rite strips I bought. Last night I fell asleep on the couch. He woke me up about 11:30 to go to bed. As we were walking into the bedroom, he says Hey, why don’t you try some of these throat strips? In my befuddled state of sleepiness I say, huh? He says, oh come just try them, they are supposed to stop you from snoring. Snoring?!? Me? Well, it’s not bothering me!! But, I said ok, fine I will try it. They are like those kind of strips you put on the back of your tongue to help you stop coughing, supposed to dissolve almost instantly. So, I take it from him, put it on my tongue and somehow it instantly gets glued to the roof of my mouth. Remember my befuddled sleepy state? Yep, now I’m wide awake!! It is burning, feels like someone is trying to stuff a tube of spearmint toothpaste up my nose and squirt it through my nasal cavity. I start coughing and choking and am trying to scrape it off with my tongue, but it seems like it is now 2″ thick instead of the wispy 1/8″ I started with. Todd is trying not to laugh at this point – and is telling me to drink some water – but there is no glass, so he runs to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Finally, water to dissolve it, and I spit out most of it. Maybe, just maybe a tiny bit dissolved in the correct place and it will work. If not, too bad – there will not be a repeat performance tonight or any other night. I’m going to email Todd right now and tell him to bring some earplugs home from work.
oh, and I accidentally deleted all the comments that were posted. I was getting tons of spam comments, so I installed a spamchecker thingy and while wiping out the hundreds of spam comments, it took all my good ones too.
Todd had a business trip so we decided to tag along. He had to be there Thursday night, so I talked to the principals at both schools to find out what the policy was for excused absences. They are allowed 5 per semester – just a written note from the parent. I was quite surprised, but glad.
Friday while Todd went to his meetings, the kids and I went to the TN Aquarium It was awesome. Chace and I had been there before, when he was much younger, but he didn’t remember much. We started out in the Ocean Journey building, and the very first thing was an exhibit where you can touch stingrays. So, of course they were both instantly soaked! The kids were excited about touching them – I wasn’t so sure, and didn’t really want to do it, but Chace insisted. I think the twins might have crawled inside the tanks with the stingrays if they could have. In fact, Caeden was the first to almost dive in headfirst – he lost his footing on the slippery edge of the tank and went in all the way up to his shoulder. His chin might have even dipped in. A few minutes later, Lael did the same thing. A few seconds later, I figured we better move on……Next up was the penguin exhibit. I was shocked that some penguins grow as large as 44″ tall – That is bigger than Lael!! One of the penguins pooped while we were standing there, which was by far the funniest thing the twins saw all day!
My favorite exhibit was the Butterfly Garden. This was the coolest place – all soft harp music, waterfalls, exotic flowers and beautiful butterflies. I was trying to get a picture of the various butterflies, by getting up close, then zooming in with the digital zoom on my camera. I was about 2 ft. from one of the butterflies and it left the flower and landed on the tip of my finger holding the camera. Very slowly, I moved my finger away to try to get a picture because I figured it would fly away at the slightest movement – but it didn’t. It just sat there. Lael and Caeden wanted to hold it, so I very carefully transferred it to Lael’s finger – the look of awe on her face says it all. Caeden was quite impatient, and I was still sure that he would fly away at any moment, so I took it back from Lael, and transferred it to Caeden. He was equally as awestruck as Lael. We finally had to put him a flower after walking all around the exhibit with him.
The whole aquarium was awesome, but we enjoyed the Ocean Journey building more than the River Journey building. That could have been because we started with the Ocean Journey, I don’t know.
You’d think it would get easier to get a good picture of all 3 kids as they get older – but that doesn’t seem to be the case. This picture was taken at a lobby like room on the top floor of the Aquarium. We rode the what seemed like the world’s longest escalator to get there. It was definitely the longest one I have ever been on.
Notice that Chace and Caeden are dressed alike. I realized this as we got on the elevator at the hotel. I said Oh, look Caeden. You and Chace both have on grey Alabama shirts and red track pants. How cute!! Chace grimaced and tried to go back to the room to change – but too late!
Friday night we went to the Chattanooga Choo Choo. We ate dinner on the Silver City Dining Car, (pizza, which was good, but Chace declared the pieces were too small) The twins didn’t seem to notice we were on an actual train car, or else it just didn’t make that big of an impression. You can never tell what will get them excited.
We also toured the Model Railroad Museum, which Todd loved! :love You know how much he loves trains! I felt like I was in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.
Saturday morning we woke up to fog and rain. We had planned on going to Lookout Mtn, riding the Incline Railway and fun stuff outside but didn’t think that would be much fun wet. So, we decided to just go to Ruby Falls. I had been there as a child, many years ago, but I didn’t remember that it was a cave! Oh well, just goes to show you that some things don’t make a big impression! The kids really seemed to enjoy it. They wanted to touch everything though, and that is a strict no-no inside the cave! Lael kept asking if this was rock, or was this stone, or were we walking on the real cave floor, or cement etc etc etc. At the end of the tour, Lael was checking out this obviously man-made stucco like support for a light fixture and wanted to know if it was plastic. I said no, it’s not. Apparently she did not like my answer or didn’t believe me. Next thing I know, the tour guide asks if there are any questions. Lael’s hand shoots up into the air. The guide says yes, what is your question? Lael walks over to the thing in question, kicks it and says “is this plastic?” You could hear a pin drop in the cave along with a few snickers and muffled laughter. The guide says no, ummmm, I think that may be stucco or cement. funny, but a bit embarassing!
This video is inspiring, to say the least. This man has no legs, no arms and still manages to live life to the fullest. He is amazing, he has learned to adapt and overcome the difficulties he has faced every day since he was born. He can walk his dog, type on a computer, use the phone, play a DVD, make dinner, swim. It definitely puts things in perspective, when I complain about the tiny hurdles in my life!
Todd found this video online. It is very interesting, makes you stop and think a bit.
Most of you who read my blog know this already, but I want it posted here for posterity. Chace did something incredibly dumb this weekend. We thought he was mature enough to stay with friends this weekend while we went to Birmingham and Tuscaloosa. We were wrong. Friday night he spent the night with Dylan. They were hanging out in the garage throwing darts and stuff, but got bored after Dylan’s parents went to bed. One or both of them had the bright idea to try to be a flamethrower by putting gasoline in their mouths, spitting it out and then lighting it. Dylan tried it first and it worked fine. Chace did it next, and it didn’t work out so well. He said it spurted out the side of his mouth, and caught his face on fire. He started slapping at it, Dylan tackled him, then some got on Dylan’s face so he caught on fire then. They were both rolling around the garage trying to get the flames out, and knocked over the can of gasoline in the process. Luckily, the fire went out and didn’t ignite anything else, like their clothes, or the garage or the house. The boys cleaned up the spilled gasoline, went inside, took a shower, and then went to bed. The next day, of course they had to tell Dylan’s parents. So, we got a call Saturday morning. Todd was so mad, he wanted to drive up and get Chace immediately. But, it was Chace’s other friend, Raymond’s birthday. I hated to ruin Raymond’s birthday, they have been so good to Chace. Plus, it was probably better to give us some time to cool off and think about the punishment. Sunday night we sat down with Chace and lectured him on the danger and what could have happened etc. We also laid out his punishment and were met with no objections, at least he was smart enough not to vocally object!! He is on house arrest until December 1st. Television is off limits, along with video games, and computer use unless he is working on homework and needs it, or researching the report, which is the other part of his punishment. We assigned him a 4 page report titled “The Dangers of Playing with Fire” He must cover 4 topics in detail, and include supporting pictures. The topics are: Death caused by burns/fire, Death caused by toxic fumes/smoke, Fire destroys houses, Lifetime disfigurement. Todd took him to the doctor Monday. He said that Chace has 2nd degree burns and gave him a prescription for Silverdine. He also said that there was no evidence that the gasoline reached Chace’s lungs, which was good. But, he said that the nose hairs were all burned away which would allow possible infections through. All in all, he and Dylan both were very lucky.
At least it is now. That is what I’m feeling, so I’m gonna go with that. When Spring comes around and I start posting about Spring being my favorite season, cut me some slack. At that point, it will be my favorite season. When we lived in NY, and winter was breathtakingly beautiful, winter was my favorite season! In the south, winter is mostly just cold. Of course then there is summer, when everything is my favorite color – green, I do love summer too!!!!
Anyway, every year when Autumn rolls around and the leaves start changing I think I should get some photographs of that spectacular beauty. I procrastinate and then before you know, all too soon, the color drenched leaves drop to the ground. This year, I did it. I went out today and captured Fall, in all it’s natural glory. I didn’t have to go far, the leaves here in Madison are beautiful. Here are my favorites from today.
We’ve had our pumpkins for weeks now. But, somehow we almost let Halloween slip up on us without getting them carved. We finally brought them inside to carve the night before Halloween. Caeden and Lael both picked out their designs after much, much discussion and changing of the minds! Caeden chose a bat, and Lael chose a cat. Scooping out all the gunk was a chore, as usual. Caeden was pretty good about getting his hands down in there and dirty, but Lael was not thrilled at the prospect. Todd started helping her, and that was all it took. After that she became more of the manager, rather than the scooper/carver. Caeden didn’t want any help. It was taking him forever, so I finally convinced him to let me scoop out the insides. Then the carving started and he really did not want any help. He really did do most of the carving completely on his own, I only helped a bit. Lael was still acting in a managerial capacity. If you asked her, she would tell you that her job was to poke the pieces to make them fall out after Todd carved it.
